Just a few laughs!

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]

The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
You're a Siamese twin and your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay and you are not. But you only have the one asshole.

Feel better?

[john_trickle]

Hope your lauging MMamdouh more coming for you.


In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like hes driving a car.

The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"

Charlie replies, "Driving to Chicago!"

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse enters Charlies room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks,

"Well, Charlie, how are you doing?"

Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago." "Great," replies the nurse.

The nurse leaves Charlies room and goes across the hall into Bobs room,

and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating.

Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?"

Bob says, "Im screwing Charlies wife while hes in Chicago"

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]

Jim and Johnny die in a boating accident.

Jim goes to heaven and Johnny goes to hell.

One day Jim looks down at Johnny in hell.

Johnny has a beer in his hand and a blonde on his lap.

Jim gets pissed off, so he goes to God and says,

"What is this?

I think I want to go to hell.

Just look at my friend down there.

" God says, "Look closer. The beer has a hole in the bottom, and the blonde doesnt."

[john_trickle]

Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation.

They begin to talk and bring each other up to date.

The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc. and finally gets around to their sex lives.

Sue says "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?"

Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M."

Sue is aghast.

"Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you would go for that."

"Oh, sure," says Sally,

"He snores while I masturbate."

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"Yep," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say... should we get naked?"

Sure enough, the two stripped down to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady replied breathlessly, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

[john_trickle]

After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to get it up anymore. He goes to his doctor, his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.

Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind", and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."

Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.

The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke....

The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '1 2 3' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens after when its over?".

The witch doctor says "all you have to say is '1 2 3 4' and it will go down". "But be warned it will not work again for 3 months!"

This guy goes home and that night is ready to surprise his wife with the good news... So he is lying in bed with her and says "1 2 3", and suddenly he gets a hard-on.

His wife turns over and says "What did you say '1 2 3' for?"

[john_trickle]

A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop $500 on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I can have my way with you from behind!"

The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called her girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition. Her girlfriend said "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell me what happened."

An hour and a half later the lady called her girlfriend back. "What happened?" the girlfriend asked.

The lady said "That jerk had $500 in quarters!"

[john_trickle]

A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.

He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the window down.

"Yes officer?"

"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"

"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."

"What about the young lady in the backseat?"

The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater."

"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.

"I am 25 Officer."

"And the girl?"

The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]