Just a few laughs!
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bluesheepbrian
- Expert
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 3:44 am
- Location: Arundel, ME
- Contact:
Here is some important financial advice:
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would
now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, of $1,000.00 you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank
all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
REFUND, you would have had $214.00. Based on the above, the best
current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.........
It's called the 401-Keg Plan.
2002 Daewoo Lanos HB
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
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bluesheepbrian
- Expert
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 3:44 am
- Location: Arundel, ME
- Contact:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A religious school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little girl, (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer, or That's Michael, He's a doctor. A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a religious elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A religious school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little girl, (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer, or That's Michael, He's a doctor. A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a religious elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
2002 Daewoo Lanos HB
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
- Contact:
A Husband's Moment of Realization
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,
yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for
her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through
the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business
failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the
house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my
side... You know what?"
“ What dear?" She asked gently.
“ I think you bring me bad luck."
yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for
her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through
the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business
failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the
house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my
side... You know what?"
“ What dear?" She asked gently.
“ I think you bring me bad luck."
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
- Contact:
Bribe and Groom
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual
offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you
get to the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking
all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave
that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that
part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the
groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and
wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally
before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another
woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then
leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a
better offer."
offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you
get to the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking
all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave
that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that
part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the
groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and
wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally
before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another
woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then
leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a
better offer."
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
- Contact:
Who is Mary Lou?!?
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee
and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pants
pocket with the name 'Mary Lou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had
better have an explanation."
“ Calm down, honey”, the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the
dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."
The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.
“ What was that for?" he complained.
“ Your dog called last night."
and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pants
pocket with the name 'Mary Lou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had
better have an explanation."
“ Calm down, honey”, the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the
dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."
The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.
“ What was that for?" he complained.
“ Your dog called last night."
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
- Contact:
Battery Acid
Little Johnny's sitting on the street corner playin with battery acid, when a priest walked up and said, "Johnny, you should play with holy water instead." Little Johnny says, "Why is that?". The priest replies, "I put holy water on a pregnant lady and she passed a baby".
Little Johnny says to the priest, "That ain't sh*t. I put battery acid on a cat's ass and he passed a Volkswagon!"
Little Johnny says to the priest, "That ain't sh*t. I put battery acid on a cat's ass and he passed a Volkswagon!"
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
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Beautiful
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ...just fucking beautiful!
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ...just fucking beautiful!
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
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Gambler
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.
After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money."
"DAMN!" said the father.
"What's wrong?", the teacher asked.
Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
hope this jokes are making you laugh at work MMamdouh have fun mate.
John
After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money."
"DAMN!" said the father.
"What's wrong?", the teacher asked.
Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
hope this jokes are making you laugh at work MMamdouh have fun mate.
John
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
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fffffff
Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this.
Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says. "Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbors' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say "F--K OFF!", the dog ate him!"
Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says. "Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbors' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say "F--K OFF!", the dog ate him!"
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
- Contact:
Boy Without Eyelids
Did you hear about the boy who was born without eyelids?
The poor child had surgery and they used the foreskin from his penis to make eyelids for him.
Amazing isn't it.
He is doing really well, only they say he is a little cockeyed.
The poor child had surgery and they used the foreskin from his penis to make eyelids for him.
Amazing isn't it.
He is doing really well, only they say he is a little cockeyed.
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john_trickle
- Expert
- Posts: 1011
- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
- Location: AUSTRALIA
- Contact:
Blowjob Etiquette
BLOWJOB ETIQUETTE FOR MEN - kindly written by a woman
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does Not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does Not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
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bluesheepbrian
- Expert
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 3:44 am
- Location: Arundel, ME
- Contact:
The Honeymoon
Please excuse the rough language in the following story...
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, "So how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home, PLEASE MAMA!
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful?
WHAT Four letter words? Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like:
dust, wash, iron, cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.
Please excuse the rough language in the following story...
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, "So how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home, PLEASE MAMA!
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful?
WHAT Four letter words? Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like:
dust, wash, iron, cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.
2002 Daewoo Lanos HB
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
-
bluesheepbrian
- Expert
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 3:44 am
- Location: Arundel, ME
- Contact:
Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!
=================================
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
== =============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
=============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
=================================
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
== =============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
=============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
2002 Daewoo Lanos HB
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
www.evo-imports.com
www.myspace.com/bluesheepbrian
"Beating a Honda is like banging a fat chick. Everyone can do it but who wants to brag about it?"
Re: Gambler
i am already laughing my ass off man... keep up the good work.john_trickle wrote:hope this jokes are making you laugh at work MMamdouh have fun mate.
John
MMamdouh
Driving is the utmost fun you can have with your pants on!
Check out my ride: http://www.cardomain.com/ride/567267
Check out my ride: http://www.cardomain.com/ride/567267
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john_trickle
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- Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:04 am
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