Just a few laughs!

[john_trickle]

A 90 year old man shows up for a physical. He tells the doctor he is about to marry a 20 year old girl.

"Really?" said the doctor. "You're healthy enough, I suppose, but take my advice. If you want a happy marriage, you should take in a boarder. Do you know what I mean?"

The old man says, "OK, doc. I'll think about it."

Six months later, the doctor sees the old man on the street. He asks him how his new marriage is working out.

"Great doc! In fact, my wife is pregnant."

The doctor nods knowlingly and says, "So you took my advice and took in a boarder?"

The old man winked and said, "Yep. And she's pregnant too!"

[lanowoo]

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]

[john_trickle]

One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores."


A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.

When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!"

Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"

[john_trickle]

A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex."
This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept. Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They "did the laundry" 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night the new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, "Can we do the laundry again?" but she was very tired.
She told him that she just couldn't do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning. A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and "do the laundry" with him again.
She gently shook him and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I denied you... We can do the laundry again if you want,"
He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."

[john_trickle]

The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman.

She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?"

She held up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm about that big."

She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a medium."

[john_trickle]

Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back,just before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one did not have anything to blot herself with, so she took her panties off, used them and discarded them. The second, not finding anything either, thought "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a nearby flower wreath.
The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other: "We have to be on the look-out; it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties..."
The other one responded: "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read, "We will never forget you."

[MMamdouh]

Demon: You gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Demon: Oooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...

why shouldn't he?? he is dead and in hell... he is already screwed!

MMamdouh

[MMamdouh]

Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"

didn't get that one

MMamdouh

[john_trickle]

Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"

didn't get that one

MMamdouh

means no pussy for him.

[lanowoo]

Kentucky
• A person can be sent to jail for five years for merely sending a bottle of beer, wine or spirits as a gift to a friend in Kentucky.
• An ordinance in Murray, Ky., says the superintendent of sanitation "shall determine whether a person is small, medium or large." Why the superintendent should make this determination is left unsaid.
• A Kentucky statute says: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
• All nude people in your house must be registered in Kentucky.
• An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club". The following important ammendment however is to be considered here: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds,
• Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140
• Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).
• By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
• Each year, the mayor of Danville, Ky., must appoint "three intelligent housekeepers" to the Board of Tax Supervisors.
• Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
• In Danville, Ky., it's illegal to throw slops or soapsuds in the street.
• In Kentucky, according to an old law, it's illegal to use any kind of reptile in a religious service. It's not certain if the law would withstand First Amendment scrutiny today.
• In Kentucky every citizen of is required to take a shower once a year.
• In Kentucky you need a license to walk around nude on your property.
• In Lexington, Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.
• It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.
• It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
• It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale
• It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
• It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.
• Lexington: It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
• No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)
• No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)
• Owensboro: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission. One may not receive anal sex.
All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)

[lanowoo]

Here's some funny videos:

http://www.dumbvideos.com/techsupport.html

http://www.dumbvideos.com/foamysdatingadvice.html

http://www.dumbvideos.com/modernstarbikecommercial.html

[lanowoo]

http://www.greatfacts.com/

[john_trickle]